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    • Who Is Matt butler?
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    • Contact Us / Booking inquiries
  • Lyrics
    • Thicker Skin (2020)
    • Counting The Days (2020)
    • Shotgun Blues (2020)
    • Praying For Rain (2020)
    • Justice or Mercy (2020)
    • Been Gone So Long (2020)
    • Tell Lucy that i love her (2020)
    • Like A River (2020)
    • Fear & Desire (2018)
    • St. Christopher's Inn (2018)
    • Just One (2016)
    • Home For Good (2016)
    • The Man That You've Become (2016)
    • When the Sun Goes Down (2016)
    • Good Friday (2016)
    • The Very First Time (2016)
    • Without A Sound (A Song for Susan) (2016)
    • Young Man's Prison (2016)
    • Ashes in the Snow (2016)
    • Reckless Son (2016)
    • We Come to Each Other (2016)
    • Can't Keep Looking Back (2016)
    • Ride Again (2015)
  • Home
  • Shows
  • Music
  • Video
  • Store
    • Merch
    • Experiences
  • About
    • Who Is Matt butler?
    • Testimonials
    • Photos
    • Notable Performances/awards
    • Contact Us / Booking inquiries
  • Lyrics
    • Thicker Skin (2020)
    • Counting The Days (2020)
    • Shotgun Blues (2020)
    • Praying For Rain (2020)
    • Justice or Mercy (2020)
    • Been Gone So Long (2020)
    • Tell Lucy that i love her (2020)
    • Like A River (2020)
    • Fear & Desire (2018)
    • St. Christopher's Inn (2018)
    • Just One (2016)
    • Home For Good (2016)
    • The Man That You've Become (2016)
    • When the Sun Goes Down (2016)
    • Good Friday (2016)
    • The Very First Time (2016)
    • Without A Sound (A Song for Susan) (2016)
    • Young Man's Prison (2016)
    • Ashes in the Snow (2016)
    • Reckless Son (2016)
    • We Come to Each Other (2016)
    • Can't Keep Looking Back (2016)
    • Ride Again (2015)

MATT BUTLER

Thicker Skin (2020)

Hello young man, won’t you come in and sit for a little while 
I don’t know how long it’s been since I’ve seen you smile 
And I remember days you laughed more than you cried 
Can you tell me what it was that hurt you?  Who it was that lied? 

And tell me why you spend all your time alone 
And why you turn away from all the love that you’ve been shown 
I don’t know where you think you’re going to go 
You lost your confidence, and it seems you lost it long ago 

Boy you need a thicker skin 
Sometimes even the best of us have to take it on the chin 
Boy you need a thicker skin 
And maybe you’re the one you need to learn how to forgive 

Cause you’ve always had it in your head you had to be the best 
And now you’ve failed so many times all you feel is uselessness 
You blame the world for shattering your dreams 
But it’s clearly your own guilt that has you bursting at the seams 

And no one has the time to hear all your regrets 
Or stories about tragedies that haven’t happened yet 
And it’s only in your mind you still can’t seem to win 
But you’re life will pass you by while you’re waiting for it to begin 

Boy you need a thicker skin 
Sometimes even the best of us have to take it on the chin 
Boy you need a thicker skin 
And I hope you start to see you’ve still got so much to give 

Cause I promise you that someday soon you’ll hear a knocking at your door 
And faced with someone just like you you’ll know what all of this was for 
And for every morning you wake up afraid to face the day 
The gift that you receive will be someone else to show the way 

Boy you need a thicker skin 
Sometimes even the best of us have to take it on the chin 
Boy you need a thicker skin 
You gotta give yourself a chance to truly love 
And truly live

Counting The Days (2020)

Sound of the flies buzzing like a drill 
Blood pooling on the table with the beer he spilled 
I was frozen still 

Too hot outside to dig a hole in the sand 
And too tired to hide the gun in my hand 
There was never a plan 

But when I saw him sitting there watching TV 
I knew he wasn’t planning on letting me be 
One of us was always gonna end up dead 
But he never saw it coming when he got up and said 

Alright, did you come around here looking for a fight? 
Okay, cause boy you look like you got something to say 
Well I just might, are you ready old man to say goodnight? 
God be praised, now I’m locked in here 
I’m just counting the days 
It was always gonna be this way 

All summer long he was always around 
Had a job painting houses in another town 
But couldn’t hold it down 

So I’d go out at night and I’d come home late 
He’d have the lights turned off but he was wide awake 
He was happy to wait 

But I didn’t mind the hits I took 
If it got my little sister off the hook 
I can still hear the sound of her screams 
And I can hear him shouting every night in my dreams 

Alright, did you come around here looking for a fight? 
Okay, cause boy you look like you got something to say 
Well I just might, are you ready old man to say goodnight? 
God be praised, now I’m locked in here 
I’m just counting the days 
It was always gonna be this way 

I’ll tell you right now I always knew I was gonna end up in these prison blues 
And if I had a choice, I’d do it again 
When I hear that voice I say Amen 

Alright, did you come around here looking for a fight? 
Okay, cause boy you look like you got something to say 
Well I just might, are you ready old man to say goodnight? 
God be praised, now I’m locked in here 
I’m just counting the days 
It was always gonna be this way

Shotgun Blues (2020)

Three shots and then the alarm 
A pistol in his hand and slug in his arm 
Threw the money in the back and told me to drive 
Said brother how long I been keeping you alive? 

Thought I only had to watch the door 
When a plain clothes cop pulled a gun on the floor 
A bundle of dope and a new set of wheels 
Is all I ever had the balls to try to steal 

But we can still make a run for the border 
By light of the Comanche moon 
Cause brother I’m through doing time in Maricopa 
And I’ll do anything that you ask me to do 
Till they’re singing me the Shotgun Blues 

Two tours of duty and you never been hit 
But Annie always said you never knew when to quit 
We got enough cash to last ‘em awhile 
Nothing I won’t do for that girl and your child 

And we can still make a run for the border 
By light of the Comanche moon 
Cause brother I’m through doing time in Maricopa 
And I’ll do anything that you ask me to do 
Till they’re singing me the Shotgun Blues 
Singing me the Shotgun Blues 

Stash the money and ditch the car 
The way I’m bleeding I won’t get very far 
Keep a couple dollars and give Annie the rest 
I’m sorry that I got you into this mess 

I looked him in the eye and told him I don’t mind 
You’re the only one who cares if I live or die 
There’s nothing else you need to say 
Brother everybody knows 
No one ever gets away 

But we can still make a run for the border 
By light of the Comanche moon 
Cause brother I’m through doing time in Maricopa 
And I’ll do anything that you ask me to do 
Till they’re singing me the Shotgun Blues 
Singing me the Shotgun Blues

Praying For Rain (2020)

How long will this last? 
Oh lord how many times will I ask? 
My well has run dry 
And there ain’t a cloud in the sky 

And my body is aching from all of the years I’ve carried this curse 
And the weather ain’t breaking 
Oh lord I’ve just got to quench my thirst 

I’m praying for rain 
Praying for the purpose in all of this pain 
I’m praying for rain 
And that I’m not shedding these tears in vain 

I don’t know what to say 
So just name your price I’ll be happy to pay 
I don’t know what to do 
Can you hear me lord? I’m talking to you 

Cause nothing is changing 
And I still feel like I’m alone 
And the soil is baking 
And there’s no water for all of the seeds I’ve sown 

I’m praying for rain 
Praying for the purpose in all of this pain 
I’m praying for rain 
And that I’m not shedding these tears in vain 

Cause Lord you know me and you know that I’m not a humble man 
But you’ve shown me life can only come from your hands 
I understand 

I’m praying for rain 
Praying for the purpose in all of this pain 
I’m praying for rain 
And that I’m not shedding these tears in vain

Justice or Mercy (2020)

Surviving in the silence and dying to be heard 
I know if I come clean I’ll get what I deserve 
But I want you to know 
I want you to know my heart 

Justice or mercy, what will it be? 
Lord don’t give me justice 
Just have mercy on me 
Mercy on me 

Days are getting shorter and my time is running out 
Light is disappearing in the shadow of my doubts 
How far can I run? 
‘Til I’m back at the start? 

Justice or mercy will set me free 
Lord don’t give me justice 
Just have mercy on me 
Mercy on me 

There’s no other answer 
I tried every other way 
No matter what I do there’s a price I’ve gotta pay 
So I’m coming to you before I fall apart 

Justice or mercy, do as you please 
I don’t need forgiveness 
I just need some relief 
Mercy on me

Been Gone So Long (2020)

Last time I was on these streets I was only 17 years old 
But in the eyes of the law that was old enough to be tried as an adult 

Now after all these years the folks round here still remember who I am 
Sometimes I catch them watching me close or they just act like they don’t give a damn 

Cause lord I’ve been gone so long 
Now this place don’t feel like home 
I’ve been gone so long 
And all I want is to move on 

Early in the morning I go looking for work, I bum rides since I lost my car 
Hitch a couple miles to my PO Just to tell him no luck so far 

I served my time and I paid my debt but there’s always something more I owe 
Seems like all I can do is what I’ve always done and just go back to what I know 

Cause lord I’ve been gone so long 
Now this place don’t feel like home 
I’ve been gone so long 
And all I want is to move on 

At night I lay awake and wonder how else to make amends 
But can’t help but start to think they’re never gonna let me start again 

Cause lord I’ve been gone so long 
Now this place don’t feel like home 
I’ve been gone so long 
And all I want is to move on

Tell Lucy that i love her (2020)

Don’t try to lie or to pretend
Everybody knew that I would end up here again 
And I might have even felt relieved 
If only Lucy wasn’t counting on me 

But don’t let her see me in this place 
Don’t make me have to see that look on her face 
So here’s what I need you to do 
First tell her that I’m sorry she’s gotta hear this from you 

Tell Lucy that I love her but I’m not what she needs 
Tell her I said she’s better off without me 
Tell Lucy that I love her but I’ve gotta set her free 
Tell Lucy not to worry 
Tell her not to worry bout me 

Then give her everything I own 
Tell her to find someone and try to make a home 
Then tell her everything I’ve done 
All the reasons why I can’t be a father to her son 

Tell Lucy that I love her but I’m not what she needs 
Tell her I said she’s better off without me 
Tell Lucy that I love her but that’s how it’s gotta be 
Tell Lucy not to tell him 
Tell her not to tell him ‘bout me 

Yea I know someday he’ll be grown 
I don’t want him to have the kind of life that I’ve known 
And I’ll be just fine here on my own 
Somewhere in the silence on the end of this phone 

Tell Lucy that I love her but I’m not what she needs 
Tell her I said she’s better off without me 
Tell Lucy that I love her but I’ve gotta set her free 
Tell Lucy not to worry 
Tell her to forget about me

Like A River (2020)

At night I pray to rise before the sun is up 
For a moment to myself and the fading memory of my dreams 

I wipe my eyes and I fill my cup 
And try to pray for someone else, cause I have everything I need 

Then daylight spills across the room and the work of yesterday resumes 
Mistakes are made in every plan to face all that the day demands 
I can only hope to grow and learn to let it go 

And live like a river flows 
And let love be like water flooding everywhere I go 
And give with all my heart and soul 
Surrendering to everything I know I can’t control 
And know my life is not my own 

I step into the air and I hold my breath 
One foot before the next, and make my way on down the streets 

And ask myself why I just can’t connect 
Because I see myself in every stranger that I meet 

The drifters and the orphan boys 
The businessman collecting toys 
The outlaws with their smoking guns 
The princes and the favorite sons 
It’s who I am, it’s what I’ve done 
So for each and every one 

I’ll live like a river flows 
And let love be like water flooding everywhere I go 
And give with all my heart and soul 
Surrendering to everything I know I can’t control 
And know my life is not my own 

Oh it’s a promise I’ve made 
But will I do anything to keep my word? 
Or will I just be too afraid to free the voice inside me that’s dying to be heard 

Singing live like a river flows 
And let love be like water flooding everywhere I go 
And give with all my heart and soul 
Surrendering to everything I know I can’t control 
And know my life is not my own

Fear & Desire (2018)

Sophie lies naked on the edge of the bed 
The clip in the ashtray is smoldering red 
She stares out the window but turns when she says 
Fear and Desire’s all I’ve got in my head 
Fear and Desire make me wish I was dead 

She lights a green candle and runs her fingers through the flame 
And says now that you’ve had me things will never be the same 
Take what you want but it won’t take away the pain 
Cause Fear and Desire’s all we’ve got besides shame 
Fear and Desire’s all we’ve got left to blame 

And there’s nothing left you can say 
Don’t you try to tell me boy that everything is ok 
Cause you know I know the truth 
And now Fear and Desire’s all we’ve got left to lose 

You see my Jack is old fashioned and he hates it when I’m sad 
Says I’m nothing but a child when he takes me like a man 
But the baby inside me wasn’t part of his plan 
Cause he’ll never leave his woman, never ask for my hand 
Fear and Desire’s all my Jack understands 

And there’s nothing you can do 
Don’t lie and say you love me, you’ll take care of us two 
You knew you were my only friend 
Now Fear and Desire’s brought that all to an end 

She rose from her bedside 
And she started to pray 
She warned me I should leave 
But didn’t mind if I stayed 
Always kept her windows open 
Said it let in the day 
I was too scared to move as I watched her fall away 
Fear and Desire always leaves us betrayed

St. Christopher's Inn (2018)

There’s ash in my mouth and dust on my skin 
Mud on my knees and blood on my shins 
And another dead end means it’s time to begin 
The road back home to St. Christopher’s Inn 

Now folks look at me like I’m destined to lose, 
With my track marks and Jesus Christ tattoos 
But I’m too tired to tell them to walk in my shoes 
So I’m going where a man is never refused 

Oh but I fear I’ll never feel free 
And sick and tired is all I’ll ever be 
And it grips me so tightly I barely can breathe 
Oh merciful lord please take this from me 

And now every time that I rise from the dead 
St. Anthony’s cross hangs over my bed 
And the prayer of St. Francis is stuck in my head, 
I’ve been there before and I’m going again 

Oh but I fear I’ll never feel free 
And sick and tired is all I’ll ever be 
And it grips me so tightly I barely can breathe 
Oh merciful lord please take this from me 

But the hope that sustains me comes deep from within 
And God loves the sinners cause God’s in the sin 
And I am who I am cause of where I have been 
On the road back home to St. Christopher’s Inn 
Yes I’m going back home to St. Christopher’s Inn

Just One (2016)

I think I ask too many questions 
And I know I’ll never understand 
How to help all those around me 
When I am just one man 

And there’s so many who feel helpless 
That there’s just too much to be done 
But I know that it makes all the difference 
That revolution has begun 

If I can help just one 
And he can help just one 
And she can help just one 
If we can help just one 

I’ll put my heart into my labor 
And I’ll burn my back under the sun 
I’ll share the harvest with my all my neighbors 
I’ll work until my hands are numb 

If I can help just one 
And he can help just one 
And she can help just one 
If we can help just one 

I always gave to the collection 
Always hoping I’d get something back 
So now I’ll offer this reflection 
To all the mourners dressed in black   

Lord knows it’s so hard to pray 
When mercy only comes to some 
But we seek forgiveness when we rise each day 
Because our work is never done 

If we can help just one 
If we can help just one 
If we can help just one 
If we can help just one 
Just One

Home For Good (2016)

I was killin’ some time just drinking down at Sophie’s 
told my girl I’d be home in a little while 
When this dude swung in with this Jameson grin 
He said “Boy I bet I know your style” 
He said “I aint sellin’ it cheap, cause man you know I gotta eat 
but I got some blow that you really need to try” 
So I checked my phone, I knew my girl was home alone 
But hell it’s just a little line 

And heaven knows if there’s one promise I’ve kept 
Still got my mother’s Saint Christopher hanging round my neck 
Lord knows I don’t know why I don’t do what I should 
I swear I mean it every time I say I’m coming home 
Yea I’m coming home for good 

Now I’d been up all night, I dragged myself across the Bowery 
With my boots barely hanging from my feet 
And the sun burned bright as I stumbled across the mission 
Into a man begging change in the heat 
He said “You look just like my boy, and you remind me of myself, 
A jean jacket rockn’roller in his prime 
Now I ain’t trying to score, I’m just trying to get some help” 
And I thought man, this must be some kinda sign 

And heaven knows if there’s one promise I’ve kept 
Still got my mother’s Saint Christopher hanging round my neck 
Lord knows I don’t know why I don’t do what I should 
I swear I mean it every time I say I’m coming home 
Yea I’m coming home for good 

So I turned my back and I stumbled round the corner 
Past the folks standing in the methadone line 
And then it all turned black, but you know I still remember 
How I couldn’t shake the feeling I was running out of time 

And heaven knows if there’s one promise I’ve kept 
Still got my mother’s Saint Christopher hanging round my neck 
Lord knows I don’t know why I don’t do what I should 
I swear I mean it every time I say I’m coming home 
Yea I’m coming home for good

The Man That You've Become (2016)

On deck aboard a pilot boat 
We waited for the light 
Huddled close we warmed our hands breathing fog into the night 
Through ancient ways of navigation, following a star 
Oh brother I can't tell you where you’re going but I know just where you are 

Cause every time I close my eyes 
And sink into a sleep 
Or stare across the sky 
I hear the sound of your heart beat 
I see the man that you've become 
Following a dream 
Dream dream 

Skate across the ocean like a figure on the ice 
But waves will come a crashing down like tumbling dice 
Place no faith in destinations, be they near or far 
Oh brother I can't tell you where you're going but I know just who you are 

Cause I've watched you as you've grown up tall 
Humble in your rising 
And gracious in a fall 
You'll see the world, you'll see it all 
As the man that you've become 
In service of a call 
Just listen for your call 

And when the night begins to fall for days 
Soon you'll ask what makes this world this way 
Inside the silence if you start to pray 
You will hear, 
A voice will say 

That patiently the water's waiting there for you and me 
A thousand miles of ocean only leads into the sea 
But your hands will trace the state of Grace, a map from up above 
Cause brother I can tell that where you're going 
You're bringing light and bringing love 

So I'll follow as you light my way 
With the wisdom of a child joyously at play 

I'll find you as you find your own way 
As the man that you've become 
The man you are today

When the Sun Goes Down (2016)

A couple of days is as long as I go 
Before my hands start shaking and the fever takes hold 
I got the number of a guy I know 
3 A.M. yea I betcha he shows 

Now I don’t even try 
I don’t bother to pray 
When all of my control starts slipping away 
I hide from the obsession in the light of the day 
But it’s fading 
So I’m just waiting 

Oh I can’t tell you what I’m gonna do when the sun goes down 
If I get high I know there’s nothing that I wont lose when I come down 

I had a girl and job that paid 
And they watched me destroy everything I made 
Got a couple of brothers and a mom and dad 
And they watched me destroy everything I had 

Now I don’t even cry when they walk away 
I push ‘em till they break then I beg ‘em to stay 
Nothing ain’t worth the price I pay 
But I’m paying 
Can’t you hear me saying 

Oh I can’t tell you what I’m gonna do when the sun goes down 
If I get high I know there’s nothing that I won’t lose when I come down 

I know it’s my fault 
I must be insane 
But I’ve got no choice 
When the thought gets in my brain 
God help me it all comes down, to when the sun goes down 

There has to be a hope 
And there must be a way 
I’m desperate and alone and I’m desperate to change 
I’m willing to listen if someone’s willing to say 
I’m worth saving 
Am I worth saving? 

Cause I can’t tell you what I’m gonna do when the sun goes down 
If I get high I know there’s nothing that I won’t lose when I come down 

I know it’s my fault 
I must be insane 
But I’ve got no choice 
Cause I can’t take this pain 
God help me it all comes down to when the sun goes down

Good Friday (2016)

She said her mama died on the cross, 
Wearing pearls and an albatross 
With Jesus and a benzo in her brain 

On Easter Sunday they laid her down, 
So when I’m broke, that’s when I come around 
To avail myself of all my mother’s pain 

Mama let me in to take a shower 
Mama let me in to clean my clothes 
Mama let me in, to wash away the sin 
But like Good Friday mama, I come and go 

Under a scaffold, far below 
High as hell, nowhere to go 
I watched her sitting with a book between her hands 

Choking on some fresh regrets 
And electronic menthol cigarettes, 
Praying that one day I’d understand 

Mama let me in to take a shower 
Mama let me in to clean my clothes 
Mama let me in, to wash away the sin 
But like Good Friday mama, I come and go 
And I guess that’s why you always tell me no 

Cause you can’t help, 
And I can’t help myself at all 
Your boy is just another junkie on the street 
If this is hell and every angel has to fall 
Then I’ll be crawling home for one more score 
With nails right through my feet 

Mama let me in to take a shower 
Mama let me in to clean my clothes 
Mama let me in, to wash away the sin 
But like Good Friday mama, I come and go 
And I know that’s why you had to tell me no

The Very First Time (2016)

I remember when I first saw you 
The schoolgirl skirt and the cigarette in your hand 
Singing Born To Run 
You said your dad was drunk and your mom was gone 

I was slinging some dope on the corners 
I was only a boy trying to be a man 
That was all I knew 
And I’d never had someone to call my own 

So we got blasted from a cannon in the middle of the dark 
Like a quarter stick of dynamite in Riverside park, 
And I held you tight to the beat of my heart 
While you whispered that nothing would ever keep us apart 
Swore I’d take care of you, 
Goddamn, I swear I tried but baby I just wasn’t able to 

We’re at the mercy of what sets us free, 
Remember falling in love for the very first time? 
Remember getting high for the very first time? 
This aint the way that this was meant to be, 
Remember falling in love for the very first time, 
Remember getting high for the very first time 

Begged half of the year on the trains, 
Grand Central winter or the dope sick New York rain, 
Just playing the game, 
Making just enough to kill the pain 

I caught a charge, wound up in a cell
Detox in prison for a brand new personal hell 
Left you with just your body to sell 
From the darkness of some cheap hotel 

I said this aint no way for anybody to live, 
But can you ever forget? 
Can you ever forgive me baby? 
When I get back we’ll both stay clean,
Get on public assistance, now that I’m 18 
We swore we wouldn’t use, 
But goddamn, we’ve done everything we swore we would never do 

We’re at the mercy of what sets us free, 
Remember falling in love for the very first time? 
Remember getting high for the very first time? 
This aint the way that this was meant to be, 
Remember falling in love for the very first time, 
Remember getting high for the very first time 

When I got out I knew where to find you, 
You said to meet in park where we first made love 
I ran the whole way 
Sure enough, that’s where I found you, 
With blue lips and a face as white as a dove 
The needle on the ground where you lay 

And I held you as I tried to pray, 
But there was nothing, 
just nothing that I could say 

We’re at the mercy of what sets us free, 
Remember falling in love for the very first time? 
Remember getting high for the very first time? 
This aint the way that this was meant to be, 
Remember falling in love for the very first time, 
Remember getting high for the very first time

Without A Sound (A Song for Susan) (2016)

He asked her for a dance, 
If she believed in fate or chance 
And if she’d come to town for school 
She wasn’t like all the college girls who thought they were way too cool 

She liked the way he laughed 
The way he held the door on her behalf 
And he liked the way she’d sing, 
When she thought no one was around to hear a thing 

They ripped through the bars and through the clubs, 
Was it whiskey, was it love? 
There was no slowing them down 
And the ring was on her hand, when the life that she had planned 
Came crumbling down, 
Without a sound 

She told me that he’d left, 
With some sick sweetness on his breath 
Ashamed to say that she was glad to watch him go 
Cause the drink had started making him mean 

He’d been driving west 
Into the fire, into the sunset 
Across the highways busting seams, 
Burning Old Crow and gasoline 

She fought hard not to think of how much he’d had to drink 
And how she always said something wrong 
But when the phone began to ring, she knew the news that it would bring 
Would rip her heart, right from their home 

She said 
All I know is there’s no way that I can let him go 
No way that I can lay him down 
And turn around 
I can’t pray 
Wont ask God to take this pain away 
So I’ll take all of the love I’ve found 
And put it in the ground 
Without a sound 

She’d been drinking by herself 
She pulled his pictures off her shelves 
So he wasn’t there to see that things weren’t quite what they used to be 

She’d been writing down her dreams 
Read like holy scripture and movie scenes 
But she was tired of asking why and tired of asking what all this means 

But what she saw inside herself 
Was it was either die or ask for help 
Cause there was no chance on her own 
So she got up from her bed, got a number from a friend 
And when she called, someone there said 

All I know, 
Is where you are and where you should go 
A place for you to lay this down 
Turn things round 
And take my word 
Our prayers are answered when our prayers are heard 
When you truly seek, the way is found 
It comes to you right here and now 
Without a sound

Young Man's Prison (2016)

Well I was seventeen when I spent my first night in a cell
Get that liquor in me 
I'll be raising all kinds of hell   

It scared me half to death, 
how I just can't control myself 
I'm begging for somebody's help but they say I can't be believed 

How'd I end up here, 
Here again? 
Here with the lost boys in a young man's prison 
How'd I end up here? 
Back in the pen 
Where the wind blows through the brick rows in the heat 
living my life on my knees   

Well I've been burning out, every time I try 

Drying myself out on Riker's Island in July 

Oh warden can't you see 
The victim here is really me 
The men that visit us say that I've got a disease 

How'd I end up here, 
Here again? 
Here with the lost boys in a young man's prison 
How'd I end up here? 
Back in the pen 
Where the wind blows through the brick rows in the heat 

living my life on my knees, 
I see the ocean at night in my dreams 
I feel the freedom of salt on the breeze 
Waking up to the clanging of keys 

How'd I end up here, 
Here again? 
Here with the lost boys in a young man's prison 
How'd I end up here? 
Back in the pen 
Where the wind blows through the brick rows in the heat 
living my life on my knees

Ashes in the Snow (2016)

Singing in a whisper in your bed 
Dizzy from the cocaine wish I hadn’t had 

I pray those memories don’t blend 
Just dreaming bout my time with you again 

The heat of your lips against my skin, 
The only part of my past I wished would never end 

But I can’t live with my desire, 
And I can’t let it all come rushing back again 

Well I don’t mind crying 
If I’ve got to let you go 
Falling from the flame, like ashes in the snow 
Heels down, grind me into grey 
But I still lose my breath, every time I hear your name 

I stare at your pictures on my phone 
Each one of your features looks like home 

Each smile across your face 
Every look you ever thought had gone to waste 

Aint nothing beginning, nothing ends 
Aint never gonna have control, my friend 

But it chills me to my core, 
That you don’t seem to love me anymore 

Well I don’t mind crying 
If I’ve got to let you go 
Falling from the flame, like ashes in the snow 
Heels down, grind me into grey 
But I still lose my breath, every time I hear your name

Reckless Son (2016)

I’ve been trying to talk with my old man 
Says he knows me better then I’ll ever understand 

But still he can’t explain the things I’ve done 
Or what it’s like to be the father of a Reckless Son 

And for all the years I made sure I was numb 
All the liquored up conversations where I played deaf and dumb 

For all the screaming angels in my heart and in my head 
Not a word was spoken until my father said 

I can’t hide you from your own hands 
Or lift you from your knees 
But I’m preparing myself to have to dig your grave 
We’ll both be humbled by the will of God 
And the wrath of your disease 
But how could any man have to be so brave 
To know that nothing can be done 
For the father of a Reckless Son 

Alone inside a family where we pass around the blame 
You can keep your interventions, all you gave me was my name 

Waiting for the moment where I can meet you with my fists 
But punishing myself was the only thorn that I could twist 

Cause you can’t hide me from my own hands 
Or lift me from my knees 
But you’re preparing yourself to have to walk away 
We’ll both be humbled by the will of God, 
And the power of our needs 
And all that’s left for you to do is pray 
For all the battles that you’ve won 
You’re the father of a reckless son 

And I know you’ve had to see me walk into the rain 
And you knew you couldn’t pull me back 
But your love was never shown to me in vain 
You put your arms around me and the walls begin to crack 

But I know I’m the only one 
Who can do what must be done 
So with every breath in my lungs 
Hear the promise of a Reckless Son

We Come to Each Other (2016)

Rain starts falling on yesterday’s news 
Can’t keep a dry eye since I saw the clues 

Some stranger looking like my best friend 
Is trying to hide he’s back at it again 

Here’s what you do 
You go and you use 
But you’ve got all my love 
You’ve got so much to lose 

So we come, 
We come for our lives, 
We come to each other, it’s how we survive 
Yea wee come 
And I need you to see, 
I need you as much as you need me 

I know that your armor is starting to thin 
You feel broken and useless and can’t seem to win 

But hiding in silence is where it begins, 
No armor can stop what attacks from within 

Here’s what I say 
You pause and you pray, 
You learn that we’re taking this all day by day 

Yea we come, 
We come for our lives, 
We come to each other, it’s how we survive 
We come 
And I need you to see, 
I need you as much as you need me 

Oh, we’re both in the dark, but you got something to say 
You know you better start getting honest my friend, that’s what I said 
Oh, we’re brothers in arms, but you have fallen behind 
Oh but brother I ain’t gonna leave 
So just bring it to me 

Yea we come, 
We come for our lives, 
We come to each other, it’s how we survive 
Yea we come 
And I need you to see, 
I need you as much as you need me

Can't Keep Looking Back (2016)

I sit and think of you 
When I don’t know what to do 
And I ask you for a sign or for a song 
Are you listening to me when I’m praying on my knees? 
Cause I’m not weak but I’m not feeling very strong 
So I hold on tight to my peace of mind 
And tell myself my life has just begun 
But when I close my eyes, and I’m too tired to cry 
I still wonder why I’m here and why you’re gone 

Can you tell me what went wrong? 
Cause I don’t believe that you’d just let go 
That you’d just stop fighting back 
Thought you were coming along 
Least that’s how it seemed but I guess I’ll never know 
And now you aint coming back 
But I can’t keep looking back 

It aint for me to understand 
The big picture or the plan 
That puts an end to life that’s still so young 
And I know I was a friend, 
And I offered you a hand 
But tell me was there something more I should have done? 

I should have known that something was wrong 
I didn’t wanna believe that you’d just let go 
That you could just stop fighting back 

You know you weren’t alone 
And I wish you could see just how much you were loved 
And how much we want you back 
But I can’t keep looking back 

So I’ll just let go 
Of all the tears I’m fighting back 
Because the road is long and I’ve gotta believe that I’ve still got miles to go 
And there’s no turning back 
And I can’t keep looking back

Ride Again (2015)

I was praying, almost every night 
To a little St. Francis that I won in a fight 

Still running, 
On and off of the streets, 
But keeping it clean since I got back east 

And that’s where we met, on the lower east side, 
And you told me all about the horses you used to ride 

I already knew you had taken a fall, 
In the dust of the summer, when the nighttime calls 
You landed here with us all 

With your shattered heart you’re coming of age, 
You’re not falling down, no you’re turning the page 
You’re gonna ride again 
Ride again 
Ride again 

Racing, 
With the wind in your hair, 
A feeling just like that, nothing could ever compare 

We’re chasing things we think that we need, 
When we never even bothered with all the things we could be 

Kissing the scars across my chest, 
Kissing the tears running down your neck 

Don’t cover it up or wipe it away
We take a little pride in taking the pain 
Cause there’s so much that remains 

With your shattered heart you’re coming of age, 
You’re not falling down, no you’re turning the page 
With your trembling hands you’re taking the reins 
With the strength to stand and surrender the shame 
You’re gonna ride again 
Ride again 
Ride again

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